Dying Once More For My Lord

I feel a poem coming on.
Where do I begin?
Was what I did so wrong?
Life as I knew it comes to an end,
Once again.

Ah, but I was saved.
My friend told me so.
The earth beneath me had caved.
When nothing means anything, anymore,
Where do I go?

She saw that I was crying.
Said, "Here's what you need.
I know you feel like you are dying.
Say this little prayer with me."
I said, "take this miserable life,
I don't want it, anymore."

No, that's not what I said.
Although that's what I meant.
Wouldn't I be better off dead?
Life leaves me broken and bent,
My will, my ego, and all that I am,
Just went out the door.

Fill this empty vessel called woman.
I cannot bleed another drop.
Pour into me your lovin',
Before this heart of mine stops.
I won't live another day like this,
Take me, I'm yours.

Lost everything in my little world.
My people, my legacy, my heart,
Life as I knew it simply up and furled.
Mostly it was my mind - just fell apart.
Now what is left of me?
Jesus, that's all.

Once again I'm dying.
Once again I'm writing.
Once again I'm trying.
Once again I'm born.
Dying once again,
Dying once more for my Lord.

Reinventing one's self is not a sin.
To stay as you are, forever, probably is.
So don't get too comfortable in your own skin,
You'll lose your mind when life as you know it,
Comes to an end.

If you faithfully look to the heavens,
The One who created you, saved you,
Will lift you up, breathe life into you,
No matter where you've been or what you did,
Jesus loves you, still.

Proverbs in a Nutshell

I'd bet dollars to donuts that all Christians have studied Proverbs. Even I did and I'm not a student of the Bible by any means. When I let this be known to a mentor of mine, I was admonished for my ignorance and instructed to learn the Word, beginning to end. So I started with the first book and couldn’t get past the first passages without being just floored by what was revealed to me. Every verse was throwing me for a loop! But read on I did and really learned a lot. The book from the Old Testament that was a real treat to read for me was Proverbs. What a hoot! I thought to myself. Bet you never saw it that way, did you? Well I am peculiar, I’ll admit it. I would like to tell you why I thought the lessons and teachings were so simple even I “get it”.

I think I was in a good place to absorb knowledge in those days while I was reading it. I came out of that book with these three things: wise men are wise; fools are fools; and loose women are bad news. Yes, that is it in a nutshell. As if I didn’t know that. I asked for understanding and I got simplicity. The Holy Spirit deals with each of us in accordance to our God given ability to comprehend the Truth, okay? You buy that? Good. Then believe me as I say I will never be accused of intellectual arrogance. Yet, was I not supposed to get more than those three ideas from the study of Proverbs?

It was my position from then on out the following - wise men are wise, fools are fools, and loose women are bad news, not to kid myself to even think otherwise. This is not the same as judging people. I thought so for a long, long time and wondered if my take on Proverbs was misconstrued and not right at all. But still I hold to this as right as right can be. For as soon as I credit a fool for being otherwise, I will surely set myself up for a huge disappointment. As sure as I trust a thief to be honest and respect my property, I will be robbed. Do you see where this is going? If I don’t go with my instincts when I meet someone and credit them only for what they project of themselves, then I am the fool for ignoring what was put on my heart in the first place. You’ll not change the person on the basis of hoping you are wrong about them. You got it right the first time.

Blistered

I am pleasantly boggled as I reflect on the things I have done with my life. I wish to share with new friends just a very few of these. I have been a professional donut slinger, have published a faith-based book and can say I have a dang Library of Congress number for it, AND! - I have even changed the U-joints on a pickup truck. Well, somebody had to do it! In fact, most of what I did was because no one else wanted to but had to be done to maintain life as we know it. Now at my age I do as I darn well please and I do it to the best of my ability. If I could do what I want to do most, I would surely be happy to look at my hands and say goodness gracious, I have me a blister! None of my past accomplishments have brought as much satisfaction like the instant gratification a good ‘ol blister does.

There was a time when even writing was sure to produce a blister on my finger as I held a pencil or pen. Oh! Golly did I ever get a set of beauties from a project using crayons! My artwork is really simple and comparable to a child’s but it pleases me anyway. Well, obviously when I make up my mind to do something, I work very hard at it. The thing I will never be able to do is write something which exhibits any evidence of any real intelligence. But I’m happy to keep my writing simplistic and fun. Otherwise, my attempts might yield reactions such as “ignorance prevails” on the comments following my posts. And besides, I would rather be applying my energy to doing useful things around the house, or for someone in need that no one would critique as having merit or substance - like earning a blister.

Witness Protection Program

Easter Sunday was another day as a shut-in for me. Not because of the weather, which was certainly a hinderance for some, but because I have huge anxieties about stepping out the front door as it is. That statement alone is offering some insight as to why I'm on my computer all day long. I read a large number of posts yesterday as I browsed the web for spiritual food. Of course I possess a number of lovely Bibles from which I may find comfort but I was looking to humanity to share it with. People all over the planet were spending the majority of Easter Sunday keeping it holy, lifting up the name of their saviour in praise, with song, and, of course, prayer.

This morning I got up and moved to my computer as usual but instead of looking to humanity, internet friends, or even the wonderful website hosting muscial ministries I happily registered with yesterday, I started pounding my keyboard to begin a new post right here on my own blog. There is something I have wanted to get out of my system. These thoughts need to be "off-loaded" before I resume my usual activity of simply staying out of harm's way. Since there was not one reference to my query as I was reading yesterday's posts, all were exclusively about other people's "take" on this most holy of days, I am driven to speak from the Holy Spirit about something that was not addressed at all.

From Wikipedia: Witness protection is protection of a threatened witness, before, during and after a trial, usually by police. While a witness may only require protection until the conclusion of a trial, some witnesses are provided with new identity and may live out the rest of their lives under government protection.
Witness protection is usually required in trials against organized crime, where law enforcement sees a risk for witnesses to be intimidated by colleagues of defendants. It is also used at war crime trials.

Notice in the description of above that there is no mention of the power of prayer for the witness. For the average joe or jane anywhere in the world, the power of prayer is heavily relied upon to seal off the sinful world. For the last six months I have been haunted by two words - Witness Protection. While on a professional level this hearing voices is labeled "suffering hallucinations", I call it listening to the Holy Spirit. And I've wondered about it. Why does that phrase keep going through my head?

Now I know why. Yesterday, all day long, the whole world proclaimed itself saved, same as I do, all the time. Saved from my sins surely is what you are bound to think. What the world didn't share with me yesterday was a sense of being saved from the sins of the mean-hearted as well.

The average well-adjusted person doesn't necessarily need this kind of protection. Or do they? My point comes full circle here: that all this time I've been "hiding" from my oppressor (the one that wants me to believe I have failed, you know him as the devil) I have, unbeknownst to me, been under a divine witness protection program. Today I will acknowledge this gift of serenity and move on with my life. One step at a time and praising the Heavens and His watchful angels all along the way. Now, as a servant of our Lord Jesus, I wonder how I am going to serve Him today. No doubt there will come a small quiet voice again to steer me down the path intended for me. To witness once again. Please pray for me, as I do for you.

Can you describe your life in one word?

Here is the challenge: describe your life, sum up in one word alone, all the years behind you and be honest. My closest friend and I are agreed on one word to describe our separate lives: Debris. Does that sound disgusting to you? Maybe it conjours images of dirty waste or rubbish. Maybe you are thinking of some really positive aspects of your life to answer the challenge, or maybe not. Has life been undignified and less than you hoped for? When some dreams are never realized because God led you down different paths than you mapped for yourself, does that leave you feeling less prosperous than your neighbor? Or is it possible that you are the canvas on the artist's easel becoming the work of art you always hoped to be? Surely you are!

I am happy to be debris. God's debris. Hope this gets you thinking of the lives you've touched, helped to better despite your own, and to find that, after all, you can be thankful for what was achieved in spite of yourself. That God has a plan for our lives is indisputable. After your best years are spent, when you fall to the earth after having used up all your energy and resources, people like me will come along and admire you for the beauty God worked into your life. If you never got credit for all your good works and are left feeling like life's debris, remember your Father who molded you. And give Him credit where credit is due. You are beautiful and cherished in His sight. He loves all that you are - to the core of your being, to the depth of your soul. I just wanted to tell you that. Remember what Easter represents and you will find my message is true. From one debris to another, have a beautimous day!